Consider these two mistakes:
1. You think there is someone in the bushes, but there really isn't. It's only a neighbor's cat
2. You think there is no one in the bushes, but there is and they are about to grab you.
Most of us make the first chosen decision more often than the second one that could happen to us. However, through our human evolution, we have a nicely hard-wired human anxious brain. We are not robots.Therefore we feel. It's better to make the first mistake than the second one even just once, because the cost of the second one is a thousand times worse than the first.
This general tendency within our very human brain is exacerbated by our temperament. Some people are just wired to be a little more skeptical, or anxious by their life experiences such as having lived in a dangerous neighborhood, or experiencing some sort of trauma.
We are also products of the environment. Fake news, media, constant news about violent acts and horrible things happening to other people becomes forefront in our mind. Even our own local situation can cause some concern about the possibility of danger.
Throughout ages of history being repeated, political groups try to hold on to the power by exaggerating appartant threats so they gain or keep control of the responses and use them for their benefit. We are emotionally driven human beings.
It is important to point out that while there are definite dangers in our lives, which vary in intensity, such as a health concern, losing a job, a friend that lets you down so now you feel some fear around trust is there now days when thinking about meeting anyone new.
Recognize the ways that you routinely may overestimate fear or threats while underestimating the resources inside you and around you. Most of us feel less safe than we actually are. The result includes unpleasant feelings of worry and anxiety. Some respond by hunkering down within a safer feeling environment, while some will respond with aggression or become easier to anger. ( the aggression is fear) It does not feel good to always live in code FEAR
What is interesting enough is some people even become fearful about feeling safer. Since that means lowering your guard, the thought that something will possibly come down and smack you is overwhelming.
There is no safety in life. Each of us will face disease, old age, and death as well as painful experiences. Many of us must deal with unsafe communities, workplaces or homes. This said, consider in your heart of hearts whether you deserve to feel safe.
Whether you are actually more guarded, cautious, anxious, frozen in fear, rigid, then you truly need to be.
If you answer yes, here are some ways to feel safer and grow your sense of calm. By learning to increase your internal sense of confidence will help you create a reality about those around you, and in your everyday living.
* Bring up a thought about being with someone who cares about you
* Think about a time you felt strong and capable
*Realize that you are in a protected setting
*Take in some nice deep breaths and exhale strongly to relax
* Become aware of what it's like to remember the experience of feeling safer, and allow those memories to come back to you so you can remember them in your body as well as in your mind, and bring them into your existence once again mentally a little more.
You can practice each day to learn to relax and then test the new way of behaving when there is really no threat at the moment. Then, as you feel safer, you can begin to apply to situations where you may have chosen fear when there really was no real need to feel it. Your positive experiences hold power as well as our negative ones. By learning about our reactions, and choosing when actual fear has it's place and should be used instead of thinking about calling up fear first will elict a less fearful, more enjoyable, and safer feeling life.