How's your temperament?
How do you describe your temperament? There is a fit between your temperament and your character. We have accomplished evolutions since early man, but some qualities remain that can use some work. Diversity in the aspects of temperament are categorized as social or emotional inclinations. The ancient Greek model of personality types break down into Sanguine (cheerful) Choleric (prone to irritation) Melancholic (tending to be sad) and Phlegmatic (hard to move emotionally). I believe you have heard about some form of these words to describe someone if not yourself. They do have a grain of truth about them.
Temperamental characteristics are innate, and hard wired into your DNA and that means into your brain. While I spend lots of time asking people to get out of their heads, there are some tendencies that are inherited, and just a mosaic in us that makes us who we are. These tendencies are shaped by our natural intelligence, bigheartedness, life experiences,and conscious intention.
It is important to honor who you truly are and to also realize that being different and unique is what makes us a good fit within certain environments that other people would not so easily fit into. Therefore, it is great that we are all unique. It's what makes the world go "round." If we were all the same we would be robotic, and stop evolving as society.
It is important not to create confusion about this though to begin to think that your temperament is your destiny. Surely it is not. When the fit between your innate temperament and the environment is not a good it becomes harder to function at your best. It feels unnatural and our internal network signals to us that "something is wrong here." Which encourages us to begin to seek what is wrong in the environment we are accustomed to, or have been exposed to whether this began in school as a kid, or when we began to seek work, or even in our intimate relationships. Our wonderful brain goes on to seek validation of what you are thinking about to reinforce the messages we initially give it through our choices, experiences and more, to live by. Therein lies the issue. Yes, the problem lies with you not with just the environment.
Additionally, it's natural to feel at some level that there must be something wrong with us. There is something missing in me, or I must be ignorant to the point of not being able to understand. Some of us become withdrawn, while others become "jack rabbits" and develop a high degree of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Even though our hominid ancestors have lived on this planet long before us were probably jack rabbits simply because they needed to create hyper awareness in order to survive!
Really, we have evolved with a mix of all the personality categories I mentioned above. There is nothing wrong at all in our created reality. We should honor our feelings by not trying to keep trying to fix our temperaments unless of course they are destructive.
Once we learn to accept our uniqueness, and honor it, we will begin to see things that are naturally great about us as well. Open the door to your strengths and take care of your values when they feel challenged. Work with nature, not against it. It's fine to be who you are intended to be. Think back to your earlier self. Children are pure images of who we truly are. How did we collide with the environment when it was all new to us. What skills did we use to navigate our life. Are they forgotten, or did something take it's place that is not serving you so well now? As you consider this, be kind to yourself. Find the inner child now as an adult using the adult brain. Seek the inner natural strength that is there and has always been. You already have everything that you need. Are you living in natural state?
Reflect and consider how you could better address your needs, desires and identify your issues if they are troublesome for you. You may find that the very issues that have not been located within yourself belonged to someone else's idea for you, or was created from an unfit environment that caused you or is causing you great unrest.
No one is perfect in temperament. It is not wrong or bad for most people. Forgive and provide some humor at your ADD or your OCD-ish tendancies. Live life happier, naturally.